The Herald (Rock Hill, SC)

Staying HOME and staying SANE
Moms in northeastern York County support each other

By Jason Foster
February 28, 2005

Kathleen Delaney of Fort Mill, middle, with her son, Cole, and Melissa Boslet of the Ballantine area of Charlotte, with daughter Kailee, enjoy the gathering of the Fort Mill/Tega Cay/Rock Hill Stay-at-Home Moms Club at Starbucks on Pineville-Matthews Road in Charlotte on Friday.

CHARLOTTE -- It's 11:30 Friday morning and the five moms, with babies and strollers in tow, pull up chairs at Starbucks on Pineville-Matthews Road.

It's time for a weekly bonding session.

They've come to talk. They've come to drink coffee. They've come to share the fun and stresses of their common lot.

They're members of the Fort Mill/Tega Cay/Rock Hill Stay-at-Home Moms Meetup group, and times like these are how they stay sane in a job that never ends.

"You stop singing the Elmo song in your head," said Fort Mill's Kathleen Delaney, 37, who moved from Charlotte 18 months ago and founded the group in September. "We are getting that serenity that you want to stay ahead of. You really don't want to get behind that curve."

Whether it's coffee, shopping or a few hours at the park, the networking is something they all cherish. Kids are welcome, of course, but the time away from home gives a needed break from Elmo and the monotony that sometimes accompanies the stay-at-home life.

"It can be so isolating sometimes. It's kind of good motivation to get you out," Delaney said.

The group is part of a nationwide chain of Stay-at-Home Moms Meetup groups formed through Meetup.com, a Web site where people with similar interests can find likeminded people close to home and plan outings.

There were 5.5 million stay-at-home parents nationwide in 2003, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, with moms comprising 98 percent of that total.

Delaney, who was part of a similar moms' group in Charlotte, wanted to bring that experience south of the border, where she figured the explosive residential growth probably meant there were other stay-at-home moms who could benefit.

"The growth is just so huge," she said. "This is just a good way for people to meet one another. It's a support system."

The Fort Mill/Tega Cay/Rock Hill moms group has 13 members. Members range in age from their early 20s to their early 40s.

The whole group usually gets together on the second Wednesday of every month, though some members try to schedule a getaway at least once a week.

"I found it online kind of haphazardly," said Tara Miller, 33, of Fort Mill, who on this day was on her second outing with the group, along with her 9-month-old son, Luke. "I feel like I've kind of jumped right in."

Even Miller, a new member, has found that the group bonds fast.

Between sips of coffee Friday, the moms talked about things ranging from how to groom a daughter's hair when she wants no part of it, to how to handle a child who's entered a "hiding phase."

Other conversations usually involve topics such as finding a good pediatrician or finding a good restaurant.

The comeraderie has been an invaluable resource for moms new to the region, members say, sometimes spilling across state lines.

"For me, it was just an instant connection," said Tiffany Maxon, 29, who lives in Indian Trail, N.C., but is active in the Fort Mill/Tega Cay/Rock Hill group.

Maxon moved to the Carolinas from Missouri in December and has found the group helpful for getting to know the area.

"It's kind of instant friends for me," she said.

When hauling youngsters around, group outings usually last an hour or two, or until nap time becomes necessary. But the kids seem to enjoy a comeraderie of their own, parents say.

"There's a recognition in their eyes when they see one another," which is an added bonus, Delaney said.

Members say they're always looking for new recruits. Part-time working moms are welcome, as are expectant mothers. Stay-at-home dads won't be turned away, either.

But too many dads could put a kink in one future plan.

"We're all going to take a cruise and leave the kids home with dad," Maxon said. "That's our dream at least."

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